Struggling With Fertility? 9 Mental Health Tips To Help You Enjoy The Holidays

The holiday season is typically a time of celebration: spending time with loved ones, eating home-cooked meals, sharing memories, and dreaming of the new year to come.

If you're struggling with infertility, you probably spent the holidays juxtaposing disappointing test results with your friends' stunning family photos on social media. Pregnancy and birth announcements during the holidays can be painful. Opening your inbox for more family vacation photos can still be painful for all you want. Every painful reminder that your baby is not yet in your arms can be the most emotional moment of the year.

If you're dreading this season, know that you're not alone. For those on their fertility journey and feeling overwhelmed as the holidays approach, here are 9 helpful tips to help you get through the next season while being aware of the unique stress triggers associated with infertility.

1. Think about your traditions

Holiday traditions that are meaningful to you can bring comfort and happiness, but following certain traditions can sometimes add stress. Consider starting a new tradition or changing it up this year. For example, if you find it too difficult to attend large family gatherings, hold smaller, selective gatherings with loved ones who will support you in your fertility treatment.

2. Take time for yourself

Don't be so busy with the holidays that you forget to make time for yourself. Don't forget to register and calculate your stress level. During your vacation, take time to recharge by choosing activities that provide you with fun, relaxation, or socialization. This could be a great time to get the massage of your dreams, go for a walk with friends, try a new winter recipe, or spend time with a good book. Prioritize what meets your needs and take time to practice the forms of self-care that work best for you.

3. Don't compare lives.

In an age where most of us are constantly connected via various apps and social networks, we are bombarded with a constant stream of content. It's easy to get caught up in believing that what we see is someone else's reality.

Most of the photos, videos and updates we review are carefully curated posts designed to showcase only the best moments. This is just a brilliant video. Even though the friend you're following may seem like he's on vacation, he may be in the middle of a contentious divorce. The colleague posting a new pregnancy announcement may have experienced multiple miscarriages in the past year. Try to remember that what you see on social media is only part of a person's reality. That's never the whole story.

4. Set healthy boundaries

In this challenging year, much is expected of us. Remember that you don't have to do everything and that what matters most is your health and happiness, not the expectations of your friends and family. If you're overwhelmed by a busy schedule, consider whether you need (or want) to take on any of the following commitments. Those who love and support you will understand if you need to lighten the load a little.

5. Plan ahead for difficult conversations.

Most people have positive intentions, but don't know what to say in response to someone else's struggle with infertility. Some will give unsolicited advice or ask intrusive questions. If someone asks you this, think about how you would handle productivity issues and structure your answer so you're not caught off guard in the moment. Some questions that may arise:

• Are you undergoing fertility treatment?

• What happened during your last treatment period?

• Do you know why you can't get pregnant?

• When is your next transfer, test or appointment?

• Why don't you adopt?

If you decide to attend a party, have an exit strategy in place if the interaction becomes too difficult. Also, consider whether pregnant family or friends will be attending the event. Planning ahead and thinking about how it will impact you will help you decide which festivals to attend and which ones to skip.

6. Ask for help

You may feel alone or the only one trying to get pregnant, especially when the greeting cards and letters start arriving. Finding a community of pregnant patients can be invaluable. Contact your fertility clinic to see if they have support groups (online or in-person) or if they recommend other groups in your community.

Organizations like RESOLVE can direct you to additional resources in your area. Social media platforms like Facebook also have productivity groups you can join. Talking to other people who understand what you are going through can make you feel comfortable.

7. Do what works for you

There are no rules for spending holidays. Remember, what may be good for others may not be good for you. On the journey to productivity, it is important to find your own path. Some find comfort in communicating with family members. Others think they enjoy it more with a partner or close friend. When choosing who to be with this time of year, prioritize your mental health.

8. Don't share until you're ready.

Whether you've just received a positive pregnancy test after a miscarriage, an embryo transfer is imminent, or you don't know what to expect from your pregnancy journey, remember that you don't owe anything to anyone (not even close friends or family). update Even well-meaning loved ones may try too hard to obtain sensitive information, especially with the added events and social gatherings during the holiday season. You may feel the need to share updates before you're ready, but there are some things that are best kept private.

9. Practice self-compassion

Popular festival for announcements such as pregnancies and engagements. If a friend or family member tells you they are expecting a baby and you react harshly (confused, unable to congratulate, etc.), be kind to yourself. You're not a bad person if you have to step away for a moment to calm down. If you feel overwhelmed by someone's big news, share your feelings with someone you trust and give yourself time to consider your reaction.

What you think you need to do or want to do today doesn't have to last forever, and you can always make changes if necessary. As you undergo fertility treatment, especially during times like these, try to focus on what's best for you emotionally. Accept that this may mean abandoning seasonal traditions and routines. So plan ahead, set boundaries, speak up when you're having a hard time, and do whatever it takes to find joy while taking care of your mental health during the holidays.

This is your 2 minute cycle | Charm