Toxic Positivity: Definition, Examples And What To Say Instead

"Giftic positivity seems well-intentioned, but it makes the person receiving it feel bad," says Jenn Kennedy, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Riviera Therapy in Santa Barbara, California.

Negative consequences of receiving toxic positivity

According to the doctor, a person who has received toxic positivity may feel that their reality is not recognized, which can cause frustration, embarrassment or neglect. Kennedy. "It appears that the person doing it is not comfortable with pain or discomfort," he adds. "So they try to neutralize or reduce it through their reaction."

According to Dr. Engle, toxic positivity can affect the human host in several ways, including:

• Feel that your emotional experience is worthless
• Reduced effectiveness in dealing with problems
• Self-stigma or internal guilt for negative emotions.
• A false sense of control over difficult life circumstances.
• Limited learning and understanding.

In general, toxic positivity can negatively affect the mental health of the person receiving it or the person causing it, as it can actually increase negative emotions by causing the person to see their feelings or coping strategies as wrong or bad. or it can make them feel that they should not feel certain emotions at all, says dr. English

For example, Dr. Engle notes that in the case of clinical depression, people who experience some degree of low mood often feel guilty for being sad or have trouble finding motivation to work or socialize.

"When a person seeks support and hears toxic comments like 'stay positive,' it invalidates their real emotional experience of grief and limits the opportunities for true intimacy and understanding that comes from vulnerability and genuine connection," explains Dr. English.

She adds that toxic positivity can also indicate that dealing with depression "should be easier" or that you can deal with depression simply by thinking positive thoughts.

Negative consequences of practicing toxic positivity

According to David Zall, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist in New York City, even people who practice toxic positivity can feel its negative effects. Dr. Zall says they can feel constant pressure to maintain a cheerful appearance, which leads to emotional overwhelm that causes stress, anxiety and burnout.

"This creates feelings of inauthenticity, separates them from their true selves, and can prevent them from addressing underlying issues, which can contribute to stress in the long run," explains Dr. Tsall. "Furthermore, pressure to meet this unrealistic standard can isolate people, preventing them from seeking the support they need from others."

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