The Perceptions Of Others Complicates Health Issues

Dear Dad: I suffer from an invisible illness and lose my temper with friends, family and acquaintances. I work with doctors to manage my condition and I'm sick of all the suggestions and seemingly positive comments I hear, like, "You can do that, just try it."

I see a therapist for help with emotional stress and they even try to diagnose me in the chair and question my knowledge of vitamins, probiotics, and special treatments. Some of these people mean nothing but good things, but others, I suspect, are strongly implying that I make them.

I'm not even sure what my question is. A polite way of isolating people would come in handy. Please inform readers that not all diseases are visible. Battle in the east

Dear war. If you no longer trust your therapist, it may be time to switch therapists. Long-term illness can be frustrating and stressful, and you obviously need someone to talk to about the day-to-day frustrations you face.

A problem that many people with hidden illnesses face often arises when using handicapped parking spaces. If asked about your disability, simply say that not all disabilities are visible. Then show them the handicapped parking ticket your doctor gave you. As for well-meaning people giving you these instructions, be kind. Say "thank you" and change the subject.

Dear Abby! I have been divorced for three years. Rowan, my ex, was the love of my life. Help me raise three children from a previous marriage. Unfortunately, Rowan cheated and broke my heart.

My problem is that my son accuses me of divorce. To say that our relationship is strained is an understatement. Besides, I can't forget Rowan. It's all I think about. I miss our family. How can I overcome this? How do I fix my heart? I've been trying to date lately, but no one compares to Rowan. I try not to compare, but I miss him so much, and the difficult relationship with my son is awful. I need my son back in my life. We would be very grateful for any advice. - No hope in Ohio

Dear Hope. You can't bring back the past. She broke up with Rowan for a good reason. You may need counseling to get rid of psychological pain and return to normal life. Comparing the men you date to Rowan is unfair to them and bad for you. This marriage is history.

For your broken relationship with your son, family counseling can help bridge the gap between you. Your therapist can help you decide whether to explain to your son why you and Rowan are divorcing you.

Dear Abby: When a couple gets engaged, is it normal or acceptable for both parties to wear wedding rings? - James in Georgia

Dear James: It's not common, but if you and your significant other want to do it, there's no rule you can't do it. it's your choice. Represent.

Abbey Abbey was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jane Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Good advice for everyone from teens to adults can be found in The Anger in Us All and How to Deal with It. To apply, send your name and mailing address and a check or money order for $8 to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Includes shipping and collection).

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